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The dating world is always complex, and that is especially true for men. Many of us have gotten the sage advice from our mothers to “blend in” with our classmates. And that advice can be very hard for those of us who are loud, powerful, and quick-witted, or are simply an extrovert or a big texter. After all you’re being yourself right?
It’s to this point that for those of us in that camp to be a little more mindful of social comfort levels of others. That is if you want to ever get a date. So below is some key things to keep in mind when texting in flirting and silent signs that your crush will give off that they’re not that interested in you.
The first big sign is that they’re not moving the conversation forward. This can be difficult to spot if you’re someone who is always engaging with people and starting up conversations. Naturally people in that situation would be actively responding to your messages, even if they’re not into dating you. However there is a line between replying and someone actively moving conversations forward. That big difference according to Demetrius Figureoa, a dating writer and founder of A Might Love, is that these people are responding in a timely manner, but not adding to the conversation. For example, you may send something out that warrants a thought out response and they’ll settle with a short answer.
Another big sign that you’re coming on too strong is they don’t match your energy levels. If you’re extroverted, you may be speaking with a lot of energy in almost everything that you do. On the other hand, your crush may not be someone that’s very excited. And you can really see that in how they text you. From the substance of their response all the way down to the speed and shift of their responses. If they were replying quickly at the beginning and then slowly tapper off, it could be a sign they’re not that into you.
And speaking of speed, one big sign is when they don’t even respond at all to you. Even though it’s big it can still be a little tricky to spot. After all you don’t know how busy your crush is and they may be off doing other things first. In these situations it’s smart to take a bit of time to talk about texting with them. Figureoa has said before that while talking about texting sounds silly it’s a good way to check to see if you’re being too forward or not. All you need to do to get the ball rolling is tell them you have a tendency of texting a lot and would like to know how much is too much for them.
And the final sign is that it may really be a “them” problem. If you have a gut instinct that you’re texting your crush “too much,” it’s important to keep that in mind and tone it down. That being said, keep that in mind in both love and life. If the one you’re in love isn’t loving you back, that doesn’t mean you need to go through a change. In fact you should never be changing just to please someone else.
In the end, rejection sucks and when you’re a big people-person, finding someone that doesn’t find you charming can feel like a kick in the gut. But if you are wise with how you are texting, and do whatever feels right for you, you’ll surely find someone who will appreciate and love you for who you are.