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If you’ve been in a relationship before, I’m sure you’ve heard all kinds of advice. Perhaps you’ve to “take it slow.” But what exactly does it mean? Because while a lot of us would think it means to get to know someone before committing, but it’s not always so black and white. In fact, “taking it slow” may mean something entirely different depending on the person.
It could mean waiting longer before having sex, or it could mean having sex without labels for one another until both of you are emotionally prepared.
Or, it could be a stalling technique used by the other to get the benefits of a relationship without committing at all.
Whatever the case the case may be, the term “taking it slow” is an attempt to remove both labels and expectations up until both parties are ready to commit. Now, obviously, there are benefits and drawbacks to each of these approaches. Your partner could be using you purely for sex, or this approach can bring forth some key aspects of relationships that are often neglected at the beginning such as trust and stability.
So, if you’re in a situation where both of you aren’t quite sure what the end goal is, we want to provide some more reasons why “taking it slow” can actually work for you.
The first big reason is that you get to look beneath the surface of the person and yourself. Again, there isn’t any pressure as there aren’t any labels or expectations. This leaves room for you to genuinely get to know them and yourself, as well. It’s a time to ask yourself some deep questions.
Questions like: “is this person good for me? Do I like their disposition? Are they someone I respect and admire?” These are all important questions to consider.
Another good reason is that sexual attraction will not be as big of a factor, and won’t define the relationship. All in all, this will give you the opportunity to learn more about what would be like to be in a relationship with them. After all, over-the-top passionate relationships often cloud our vision as lust takes over. If we allow ourselves to slow down and moderate sex, we have more time to think, process our own emotions, as well as, assess our partner.
The third reason to take it slow is that you’ll get the opportunity to make a solid connection. As I mentioned above, you’ll be building trust and stability and throughout that, you’ll also be able to deeply understand the person. When you “take it slow” you’re more or less making a connection of friendship, mutual respect, and shared interests. There may be other benefits on the side, but those three things are key to sustaining meaningful long-term relationships.
The final reason is that this provides a good opportunity to establish consistency. Romances that happen on the spur of the moment are often destined to fall apart. They’re built on fantasy, illusion, and lust. The difference between a one-night stand and a long-lasting, loving, relationship boils down to consistency.
Think about it. When things are hot, you’ll be texting each other at record-breaking speeds. But, when things start to slow down and you look at the person you realize that they may not be meeting your needs. When you slow down, you have that opportunity to really see if that person can meet those needs.
So, if you are thinking of slowing down with someone or you’ve been asked by your partner to take things slow, make sure you ask them to clarify. You both want to be on the same page (or realize that you’re not), so you can decide if this approach is right for the relationship you want to have.