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The day-to-day routine of our lives can drag on and as a couple, it can leave your marriage or relationship in a declining state. To avoid this, setting some goals in life and for the relationship can actually do wonders. Whether this is the first time doing goals or you need to refresh them, follow these steps below in setting goals as a couple.
The first step to setting goals is by making a list of the goals you want to achieve. This is to be done individually and in private. From there, you want to set a time to share each other’s lists so make sure that you give one another plenty of time to do some soul searching and uncover what each other values as a person, and couple.
If you are feeling stuck with the goals, some things you can think about are things like what sort of mission statement do you have in your life. You can also look at your basic areas of life and rate them on a scale from 1 to 10. The areas that you rate lower you can revolve goals around them.
From there, the second step is to be sharing your goals with one another. It’s sticking to that first step of setting a time and specifically doing this. Keep in mind when sharing goals, be sure to not criticize the other regardless of how unusual the idea is. You want to be a source of encouragement so for the time being encourage one another. Reality checks will come later on.
The third step is to prioritize the goals. In this step, you want to combine both of your lists and break them into three sections. Two columns for you and your partner and then one in the middle to represent joint, couple, or family goals. From there, prioritize the goals, making sure that you give each goal attention.
The fourth step is to be more specific. As much as each goal is important, we often prioritize specific goals. Furthermore, you want to be specific with each other on the goals that you will achieve together. Even with individual goals, you want both members to be involved at some capacity. With couple goal setting, the idea is to strengthen the bond you two share by helping one another. Because of this, you want to single out the goals where both play a role in helping to achieve.
From there you want to filter your goals even further. One way to filter them is to make sure that they are SMART goals. That means to test the goals to see if they are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely. If they aren’t, revise them and write them back down.
The fifth step is to be flexible with the goals as well. If they are larger goals, be sure to place milestones that lead up to that goal. Use these as checkpoints as a time to check the goal and to check each other. Don’t be afraid to make changes to them as over the days or the month you have been working on the goals, you get a better idea of what is working and what isn’t.
The last thing to do is once you achieve the goal, don’t forget to celebrate it. Of course, be mindful of how much you celebrate it, but this step is vital as celebrations can tighten bonds, but also keep you motivated. Do this as well with the milestones too, but on a smaller scale. From simply making the announcement and doing something small, we need these bursts of excitement to stay motivated.