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Breaking up with a guy is one of the most discussed topics among women. It has been on our lips for years, and it’s never ever going to cease being one topic that we just need to discuss. One of the least discussed topics, though, is breaking up, not with a guy, but with a girl – yes, our friends.
There are many things we share with our friends that even the guy we date doesn’t know, and there are those points we reach in life that no other person understands better than our friends. But as powerful as these friendships are – as interesting as they are – there are times when we just need to blow a final whistle. Not because we dislike them now, or anything like that, sometimes it’s just for our wellbeing.
So if you’ve got issues and you’re trying to see if the friendship is repairable or if you should just let go, getting the answers to these 4 questions will help you decide if it’s time to throw in the towel or if you should continue to improve the relationship.
What do you want from her?
We strongly believe that good friendships are never about what we wish to benefit from associating with someone; in fact, everyone hates that. Rather, it’s very important to know what you both enjoy about being friends. Is it the company? Or is it just knowing you have someone who is always there for you?
Knowing what you want from her will help you evaluate if she has been meeting your needs. If she hasn’t, you might want to ask yourself if you have discussed ways she can be a better friend. Sometimes we just need to ask, some people are not good at guessing what we need.
What does she want from you?
This is super important because it’ll help you evaluate not only what she can do for you, but also what you can do for her. If you wanted her to be around you always, can you do the same for her? If you wanted someone who would always check on you, can you be the same to her?
There’s a chance that what you want from her is also what she wants from you, so before you press the “kill” button on your friendship, try to be a friend yourself.
Is it a pattern or a one-time thing?
This is a common rule even in relationships. No one is perfect, so never expect us to live like perfect humans. There is going to be that day your friend will say something in public that doesn’t sit well with you. But try to evaluate things. Is this the way she behaves? Or was this just one in a clean sheet? If it’s not a pattern, bad traits or mistakes might not be enough ground to break a friendship.
Can you forgive?
Forgiveness isn’t what a lot of people make it out to be. It’s actually facing the reality that this person did something you didn’t like, but you decide to overlook it with hopes that it won’t happen again. It also means accepting a person for who they are and accepting their imperfections.