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Being a first-time mom is very hard– life has completely changed. Sometimes, you may feel so tired and to feel like you have lost yourself. Don’t worry, there is nothing to be ashamed of….we all feel like that. The truth is that some people talk about that honestly, while the others are trying to be some ”super parents”. There are no super parents and we all have our ups and downs. Here, I will share my personal story and I hope it will help you to understand your feelings better.
My son was 6 months old and I was so tired of everyday life. My husband worked long hours and I had to do everything by myself. Of course, I knew that even before I was pregnant, and I knew how it would be that way, but you know how that goes. You just think that you will do it easily because women have done it for thousands of years. Well, here I am. I was so exhausted and I felt like I lost my freedom. So, I honestly talked with my husband how I needed a few days to go on a vacation with my best friend. He agreed, of course, because he saw how much effort I was putting in our family.
When I got in the car, I immediately felt a sense of freedom. I didn’t need to worry about the child’s safety in that car seat behind me. I thought how that is a time when I won’t worry about anything at all and how I am going to relax and to enjoy all the time with my bestie.
Then, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Just then, I reached into my pocket. My adoring husband had written me a note. It said, “You’re a great mom. We love you. Enjoy your time.”
What actually happened next? Well, we really spend a great time on our vacation. But, it also wasn’t as I imagined it to be. Did I worry? Of course, I worried each and every moment if my baby was okay and if my husband was doing ok. We talked on the phone regularly and I asked him thousands of times if they were really able to do it all by themselves. My husband, of course, encouraged me to stay for even a few more days on my vacation.
And you know what? I missed my baby so much. I really had a great time and I really relaxed a lot, but when I came home, I realized how I can’t live without my baby. I also learned that having someone who is on your side and that you’re a part of a team is the most valuable lesson of all. I learned to trust my husband with our child alone for more than a few hours (something I hadn’t even done yet) and learned to accept that he would always have my back.