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Having fights as a couple is not the end of the world and it never means you’re bad people. However, some disagreements end up being unproductive, which is not healthy. There are some steps that can be taken to ensure that your fight with your partner is productive. A relationship is not all sunshine and rainbows; disagreements are bound to occur.
It is important to remember to have your partner’s best interest at heart in any argument. It goes to both sides because it shows that intent. When trying to discuss issues, your intent should never be to “get” your partner.
Timing matters! It is important for you to understand that issues need to be brought up when you are both ready to discuss it. This means that issues should not be brought up ten minutes before your partner is leaving for an appointment. Do not bring up the issue of discontent if you both do not have the time to commit to properly thrashing it out. It is not a bad idea to plan ahead; schedule issues beforehand so that it works for your schedules and allows you give the issue enough time.
Try not to argue when it’s time to rest. The bedroom should be your solace and private domain. It is your place of calmness, so keep arguments out of it. A question comes to mind; “if you are arguing in the bedroom, where are you going to go to get some rest?”
It is important that distractions be reduced to a minimum when engaging in a conversation with your partner. This means that your phone should be switched off and it should not be done when your children are around.
Understand the way your partner deals with arguments in order to find the best way to help each other. Do not speak if you can’t control your emotions. If you can’t say anything positive, give yourself space before discussing the issue with your partner. Techniques like calming your breath, exercising, journaling (or whatever works for you) can be tried while you give your partner space. You can gain additional perspective from friends and family that can be trusted.
Avoid the temptation of digressing from a particular issue if you want to resolve the issue and ensure it is given a proper burial! Be clear on the topic and make sure you stick to it. Failure to do this is the biggest mistake.
Have a strategy that’ll help you deal with an argument before it arises. It will go a long way to make the relationship stronger. Keep each other up to date about individual plans before they occur. If you have a function to attend or an activity you’ll like to enjoy, try to inform your partner ahead of time.