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Few things in life are more exciting than the honeymoon phase of a relationship. That said, even from the start, relationships require work to maintain. Anyone who’s ever dated knows that even the seemingly tiniest thing can destabilize the entire balance of a relationship, especially in the early stages when you’re just getting to know each other. If you’re starting a new relationship, keep these four tips in mind to establish proper communication and keep your romance moving at a pace with which you’re both comfortable.
1. Don’t come on too strong
It’s one thing to clearly show your interest and casually text your partner about their day. It’s another thing to consume all their time and attention. Even if the harmony between you two seems as sound as could be, coming on too strong could prematurely wreck the whole thing.
Of course, the line between actively caring and coming on too strong remains as fine as ever. You’ll know you’ve come on too strong if your partner hesitates to engage with you in typical conversations, whether in person or via text. This doesn’t necessarily mean leaving your texts unresponded – it can mean offering short, unenthusiastic responses or not making as riveting of in-person conversation as usual.
2. Don’t move too fast
Coming on too strong and moving too fast are interrelated concepts, but they’re not quite the same thing. Coming on too strong involves not giving your partner enough space to live their own life, whereas moving too fast means you’re undertaking certain hallmarks of a relationship’s development far sooner than most couples would. If you’re introducing your partner to your parents just a month into you knowing each other, for example, that’s moving too fast, as is booking a full weekend vacation this early on. If it’s something you wouldn’t do with a new friend, you shouldn’t do it with a new partner.
3. Don’t compromise your standards
Dating is tough. After enough failures to launch in the early stages of dating, you might be tempted to loosen your standards to find that special someone. But putting aside the traits you’re seeking – shared interests, personality type, lifestyle, etc. – is a surefire way to embark on a relationship that, though comfortable, would work better as a low-maintenance friendship than a full-on romance. In short, don’t fool yourself into thinking that this person you enjoy spending time with but don’t feel strongly about or truly see yourself with is your soulmate.
4. Don’t forget about trust
No matter how much you have in common with your partner and how much you enjoy spending time together, you won’t be able to fully invest in each other if you don’t trust each other. People’s insecurities tend to manifest in all manner of twisted ways in relationships, so building trust early can be key to not letting these emotional obstacles decimate your romance. It’s possible that the more time you spend together, the more trust you’ll naturally build, but you can also consider trust-building exercises.
What advice would you give people starting new relationships? Share your tips in the comments!